When my husband and I were newlyweds, we had a terrible argument right before bed. I honestly can’t remember what it was about. But I do remember dramatically rolling over in a huff so my back was toward him. I remember crying and being sure that he would soon roll over, gently touch my arm, and apologize.

That’s how this scene was supposed to go.

Instead, a few minutes later, his breathing deepened and he began to softly snore.

Wait—what?!

I lay there, stunned. My thoughts swirling—was he even being serious right now? This isn’t the right ending. No, no—this is all wrong…

I yanked the covers off and with dramatic flare stormed out of the bedroom.

I paced the apartment, waiting. I made tea, lingering in the kitchen just long enough for him to notice I was gone and come find me.

But he didn’t.

I stepped onto our tiny balcony, shutting the door just loud enough that it might wake him. Then, I curled up on the wicker loveseat, hugging my knees, dipping my tea bag in and out of the cup, and waited some more for him to come rescue the moment.

I waited for a loooong time, but he never came.

A stark realization came instead.

Rather than living in real life—with a real man, I was trying to chase a fantasy.

You see the reason I was so certain he would follow me was because somewhere along the way, I had written a script for how conflict resolution should look. I had absorbed it from romance novels, movies, and dramatic love stories. In my mind, husbands always chased. They always apologized and said the perfect things. They always knew their lines.

But my husband didn’t have my script.

And if I kept holding him to expectations he didn’t even know existed, I was going to sabotage something beautiful.

“Those who chase fantasies have no sense.”
— Proverbs 12:11b

Unrealistic expectations don’t just create small disappointments. Over time, they can create resentment. Chronic dissatisfaction. Even depression.

When we chase imagined versions of our lives—perfect relationships, flawless bodies, effortless success—we miss the goodness of the real life Jesus came to give us that’s right in front of us.

As believers, we’re called to live differently. We’re called to renew our minds (Romans 12:2), guard our hearts (Proverbs 4:23), and not put undue expectations on others (Luke 11:46). We’re called to be content (Hebrews 13:5) and to give thanks in all circumstances (I Thessalonians 5:18).

Scripture invites us to live grounded in truth rather than drift into imagined realities that slowly distort our expectations and damage our joy.

Unchecked fantasies don’t just disappoint us. They can pull our hearts away from gratitude, from contentment, and from God’s design for real relationships.

That night on the balcony, nothing dramatic happened. There was no sweeping apology or cinematic reunion. There was just the quiet realization that real life isn’t scripted and that reality—grounded in God’s truth—is much more fulfilling than fantasy.